I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
