Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
