Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
