I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize