Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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