I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
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I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
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Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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