We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
