goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
