I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My liver just had a heart attack.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
