I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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