how can u be prego again
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
