my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize