I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
