he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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