I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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