i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize