I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
