Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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