you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
