there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
