I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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