she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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