You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize