White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
