It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
