I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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