But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i would punch a child for taco bell
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
