oh god the rape fog is back!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
