I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
