I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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