maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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