do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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