Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm passing your future prison.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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