Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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