i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
