Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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