i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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