drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
