I am puke
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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