What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
