she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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