Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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