Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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