Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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