I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
