Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
