I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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