But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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