it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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