are you still at the devil's house?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
