I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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