How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize