have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
