this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
