So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
