whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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