TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
