She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
