I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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